Way out West (incorporating Way up North)

big bangs

Shortly after 6.00 this morning there was a loud boom and all the windows rattled, loud enough to wake me up and indeed, louder by far than the IRA bomb in Ealing Broadway, a mere 1/4 mile away. As I am prone to do, I looked at the clock to check the time, and went back to sleep.

When I surfaced I was surprised (as you can imagine), to discover that the explosion was up near junction 8 of the M1, at least 30 miles away (the petrol depot in case you had missed it). I know sound travels further by night, but I shudder to think what it must have been like a bit nearer .

Theatrical pyrotechnics or more specifically; maroons (the ones that make bangs), used to carry a definition of how loud they were in terms of miles/audibility. Thus a medium plastic maroon claimed to be audible at four miles, a large at eight miles, extra large at twelve and so on. It is rare that you get an opportunity to test these theories out, and I suspect that they are deliberately exaggerated to make you think you are getting more bang for your buck, as it were.

Suffice it to say that these definitions are treated with a certain amount of disdain in the industry, the accoustically controlled environment of a theatre is very effective at dissipating the accoustic energy created by what is after all a small explosion. A medium maroon sounds like a pop-gun from the rear of the stalls in a decent sized theatre with a fly tower for example.

My last big pyro hit was for the launch of a new artists' studios project down on the Thames on the opposite bank from the millenium dome. The brief was a big bang and a huge shower of confetti, at the appropriate cue. This is easily done, as the easiest method of propelling several kilos of confetti into the air is to use a confetti cannon (there are devices that use compressed gas, but they're not as much fun). The confetti cannon is based around an eight inch wrought iron tube, the propellant is a maroon of appropriate size, and you gain greater velocity and height the larger the maroon you use. The confetti (which must be flame retardent) is separated from the propellant charge by a tight fitting cardboard disc, connect to your electrical firing system and retire to a safe distance, ensuring that the pyrotechnic is in sight of the person firing, or of a spotter who can stop it from being fired.

For this gig, I had four cannons, each one of which had three large maroons and a kilo and half of confetti, all went well, the musicians did their fanfare from the balcony above the one that the cannons were to be fired from and retired to the back of the unit as instructed, closing the sliding window. As is so often the case, the pyro firer failed, and the chairman pressed his dummy button to no effect, a moments re-jigging gave the chairman the dud firer, and me the good one,and we prepared to go again. My spotter gave me the thumbs up, I gave the all clear, and the musicians repeated their fanfare. So far so good, except a dopey musician (there's always one), instead of retiring, left the window open, and stayed nearby to watch.

Six kilos of confetti is a lot, it stayed in the air for about 15 minutes, apart, of course, from that which hadn't been blasted into the room full of deafened musicians. The bang was loud, and the towers around (Canary Wharf, HSBC etc) gave some impressive reverberant effects. Not only that, but about 10 minutes after the event a couple of obviously military helicopters came down the thames, presumably in search of terrorists. There was nothing to see but a slowly diminishing cloud of pastel coloured bio-degradeable confetti.

My favourite confetti story comes from the Birmingham Odeon, when american rock dinosaurs 'Kiss' were playing, at that time Brum operated a different system of inspecting shows and concerts for safety from anyone else, and would send a senior fireman out (I have been through this in Birmingham, on a show that had twenty foot jets of naked flame integral to it, not easy, trust me). The inspector happened upon a passing american techy filling the confetti cannons and asked 'is that flame retardent confetti?' on receiving the answer 'I'm not sure' (which is so totally the wrong answer to give to a safety inspector; you should know what you are firing if you are loading pyros, and if you're not sure, you should find out before it goes any further). Inspector was kind (and now a haunted man) under the circumstances, and rather than cancel the gig, he said 'you'd better make sure it's flame retardent before you even think of firing them'.

I'm not entirely sure how bright the sort of bods who hang around with the sort of bands who'd make Spinal Tap look original and talented are, and even though I've some idea, and taught a few, I'm prepared to make allowances. After all, people for whom I have a more than a modicum of respect get into frothing ecstasies over that sub-Lloyd Webber hack Wagner, but personal prejudices aside, our friendly little american, rather than go back to his line manager and check (it would have been OK, americans techies are abiut as paranoid about that sort of thing as we are), decided to show a little initiative and went to the local crew. They supplied him with a five litre bottle of flamebar, a proprietary substance used in various formulations to make things flame retardent, who knows, they may even have given him the correct version for paper. Instructions for use, however, are to spray onto surface and allow to dry, not, 'pour into cannon and walk away'. The result, when the climactic moment arrived, and the big pyro hit came, was to fire four large soggy balls of papier mache into the audience, or more accurately above the audience, because, by a stroke of good fortune, they shot across the room and stuck firmly to the wall at the rear of the balcony, where they stayed for several years, until the venue ceased to put on concerts and reverted to being a cinema. It's been a while since I've had to do a show in Birmingham, but I'd avoid using confetti cannons there, if I were you.

posted by Lampy @ 12/11/2005 04:25:00 pm