Monday, January 21, 2019

it's that time of year again..

There must be something about January that occasionally reminds me that I have a blog, and that I haven't written anything in it for about a year. I'm not given to annual resolutions, tried it once, didn't like it, but as I have forsaken Facebook for the time being, I have decided to return here and use up some of my longer-form preoccupations.

Without going back over the years to check, I can't recall if I have ever previously mentioned that I hate H*lland and B*rrett,  high street purveyors of dodgy health supplements and bulk protein powders to the masses. Time was that you could go to your local brown paper bag and lentil emporium and stock up on a few scoops of dried apricots or whatever, and not have to leave your platinum card at the till while you were shopping. Nowadays, 'Health Food Shops' have enthusiastically adopted the DIY store model of putting two items into an artfully designed little plastic bag and charging the price of an entire box for the privilege.

When I was on tour in the employ of an experimental theatre company, I got into the habit of breakfasting on yoghurt/fruit and some form of granola or bircher muesli, on the basis that this was likely to be the closest to fresh food that I would see in most places (full English palls after a few days). I have stuck with this, on the admittedly feeble basis, that it feels like it ought to be quite good for me. I do, however, like to liven it up with a few extra lumps of this and that, hence my foray into H&B in search of interesting dried fruits to add to the mix. Just because, before visiting a branch, I checked online to see what they actually do stock, and it looked quite promising. I'm not naïve enough to expect them to carry everything they claim online, and I wasn't disappointed. In some ways they could be said to have made improvements to what some ghastly MBA toting arse in a suit calls 'the offer', the shop assistants no longer look as though they need to pop out the back for a toke of oxygen to get them through the next few minutes, and the stores are much better lit, on the other hand not having a clue and avoiding eye-contact seems to have remained an employment requirement. I was able to locate a couple of small baggies of interesting things, and, by a process of deduction, work out what they were likely to cost (the shelf labels only applied to larger sizes, or were missing), and whilst they weren't a bargain, they were significantly better value than T*sco or M*rrisons are able to offer. After the woman bulk buying vitamin pills had finally cleared the till, I wasn't at all surprised to find that my two little bags of fruity gribbles didn't ring up (bleep up?) at the prices I had calculated, but I was surprised that they were significantly cheaper.

I have long since abandoned any notion of contesting computerised pricing systems, on the rare occasions when they interface with human beings things usually go awry; there was one assistant at my local T*sco who hadn't quite entered into the spirit of the end-of-date markdown, and you would find a 0.60p packet of custard tarts marked up to £4.00 for example. I always find the reduced to clear section worth a visit, nonetheless, it's your best chance of getting ripe cheese or fruit when you're part of a supply chain that operates on the principle that appearance is more important than flavour or ripeness.

So, having bought my gribbles, I fully expect to be charged a different price next time I make a visit to H&B, I will report back if there's anything earth shattering to tell...

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home