Way out West (incorporating Way up North)

I lost my heart to a starship trouper...

Those of you who have been paying attention may recall that owing to an inadvertant attempt to fly I am presently grounded in Kincardineshire. Last week I had my first appointment at the Fracture clinic; the nurse savaged off my cast with a pair of scissors that were blunt in all the wrong places, leaving a series of painful scrapes on my unprotected skin. I was quite intrigued to see my foot after it had been incarcerated for a couple of weeks, and was somewhat consoled to see that I still had the requisite number of toes. Less cheered, however, to discover that it looked like a yellow and purple haggis with five toes.

After my x-ray and brief chat with the consultant, I was then sent back to the physio department to discover what options are available. I was greatly relieved to discover that I didn't need a new plaster cast, rather I was to get an aircast. Don't be misled, what I actually have is a vast plastic boot, in a cheery shade of grey, covered in velcro straps. The air part of it refers to the various internal panels that can be pumped up by hand to wedge your lag and foot into a position of safety. The boot also weighs a great deal, as it has metal plates just to make sure. I look as though I am gradually mutating into a Star Wars stormtrouper, bit by bit, and it is so bulky and awkward that turning over in bed is a major event. No matter, according to the Dublin orthopedic consultants, I should be able to put my foot on the ground in a couple of weeks, I can't wait.

posted by Lampy @ 10/29/2008 08:39:00 pm